It’s not your job to manage other people’s sensitivity to rejection.

Even if you are someone who is also sensitive to rejection or perceived rejection, it’s still not your job. I would even argue it’s especially not your job. 

Your job is to understand your own values and limits so you can set boundaries accordingly. Your job is to show up as authentically as you can muster, even when it means disappointing another person or obliterating their previously held image of you. Your job is to figure out what a strong and profound yes feels like so you can also identify when you feel a strong and profound no. Your job is to honor that no.

It is not your job to uphold the inauthentic or incorrect image of you that others may hold in their minds. It is not your job to correct that image, either. It is not your job to be inauthentic so that others don’t have to feel rejection or discomfort or embarrassment. You can let that all go, set it down, walk away from it.

Leaks in your boundaries can easily become leaks in your finances: that broke friend you regularly buy food for and genuinely don’t mind it, but occasionally you need to say no to them because an expense has come up in your life and you don’t know how to say no because you understand their situation so well, having been there before yourself, and you hate the thought of embarrassing them or causing them to go without so you allow your finances to take an unnecessary hit just to avoid saying no and potentially letting someone down. 

If this sounds oddly specific, it’s because I have been this person before. Everything I write and teach comes from lived experience. If this sounds oddly familiar, it’s because you’re probably in the right place to be reading this right now. Take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and breathe out the part of you that is still attempting to manage other people’s emotions and compensate for their inner battles. Rinse and repeat as many times as it takes. Remember that while it is everyone’s job to show up with compassion and take care of each other, that should not require you to sacrifice your safety on a regular basis.